Comeback

cw: careless meds handling, vague references of bad therapy etiquette, coming out, cw&tw in the end that are all mentioning extremely triggering things

I realise it’s been almost two years.

I’m back, and I might use this blog for more than just a few vents now and again (though 20 months of absence is a very long time), but I can’t make any promises.

I’ve read through my few former entries and I’m happy to announce that I quit my meds in November 2013. I did not consult a doctor for this, which I should’ve. I’m not going to go into too much detail about it, but the way I was treated was awful, and I haven’t talked to anyone from that place since January 2014.

There isn’t much to say, as I hadn’t actively used this blog even for a full year before unceremoniously disappearing seemingly without trace.

I moved in with my older sister and her fiancĂ© in July 2014, then in August I moved briefly to the Netherlands for a job that was, frankly, awful. I moved back in December last, and that makes seven moves in five years. I plan to stay here for as long as I’m able, even though the two (supposedly) adult people I live with aggravate me to the point of exhaustion on most days.

The biggest reason for turning up again is that it’s been brought to my attention that I need a wardrobe sweep, to clear out the things I don’t wear – either because they’re too small, too big, or because I simply will not ever put them on again.

You see, in the last year or so, a lot of my teenage confusion has cleared up, and if I have any active followers left here I’d like to come out as transgender (if you haven’t seen the update on my profile).

The general angst, confusion, body dysphoria in varying degrees that sometimes comes with that might end up in entries here. I can’t promise I’m coming back after I put up a whole damn collage of pictures of clothes here for sale/giving away, but I might.

That is enough, isn’t it?

For people who might not have read this blog before, and just now stumbled upon this entry; please, please be careful when reading the previous posts. They’re riddled with triggers, and I wasn’t much concerned with such things in the state I was in when I wrote them. I don’t want anyone to be triggered at all, so I’m going to put a list up with the appropriate content and trigger warnings for the entire past of the blog from the entry preceding this all the way back to the first post I ever shared.

Drug mention
Alcohol mention
Rape mention
Murder mention
Death mention
Suicide mention
Abuse mention
Ableist language
Self harm in detail
Meds discussion
Therapy discussion
Blood/gore in detail
Depression in detail
It has no pictures of anything, but please be careful before reading the old entries

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About thezonesystems

Former miserable, confused teenager - now sad and confused trans adult(ish)
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