Tag Archives: awful feeling

Obscenities and Anger

I don’t understand. I know I’m slow with updates, but thankfully I’m not as desperate for venting as before. The thing is that none of the festivals I mentioned in my last entry were attended. One of them was cancelled, … Continue reading

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Difference of Poets and Authors

Bleeding is mesmerizing, it fills me with a calm in the blood’s stead. I am in panic over school, nauseous over everything. I just want to disappear, and walking amongst people, on sidewalks, is harder than I thought it would … Continue reading

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Once Upon a Suicidal Thought

Killing myself seems so easy, so close to home. It has been so far away before, and now it’s almost palpable, I can touch it with my fingers and it doesn’t shy away. It stays, curious of me, wanting to … Continue reading

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Morbid Ways of an Author

I will receive no re-evaluation, because “it will not determine any diagnoses”, “will not help as much as medication will”, and “enlarging the dosage will not enhance any symptoms”. It really doesn’t help, it doesn’t. It has only made me … Continue reading

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The Worst of the Relapses

It’s getting worse, and I have no idea what to do to stop it. It’s still very shallow, but they are numerous. I have four different places where I put them; my thigh, my hip, my shoulder and my arm. … Continue reading

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The Battle is (Almost) Lost

I keep imagining cutting. Long, shallow gashes up my legs. Short, deep wounds on my shoulders and arms. Eventually the wounds get deep enough to bleed for ages, get long enough to be obscene. They get deeper than I’ve ever … Continue reading

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Find Strength in Pain

So life’s not the best at the moment. It’s not like there’s been an accident, or I’ve been diagnosed with a terminal illness. It’s just… Chemical unbalance I guess. But it feels like it’s more than that. It doesn’t help … Continue reading

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