Author Archives: thezonesystems
Comeback
cw: careless meds handling, vague references of bad therapy etiquette, coming out, cw&tw in the end that are all mentioning extremely triggering things I realise it’s been almost two years. I’m back, and I might use this blog for more … Continue reading
I don’t understand. I know I’m slow with updates, but thankfully I’m not as desperate for venting as before. The thing is that none of the festivals I mentioned in my last entry were attended. One of them was cancelled, … Continue reading
Of Things Sure
So it has been a month since I last made an entry here. Well, dear friend, I don’t have much to say, since not much has happened. Usually, when I say things like that, things end up long and drawn … Continue reading
Not This Time
I am alive. I have not tried to kill myself. My sick leave has been extended, my medication and dosage has been altered. Again. I am on medication that usually treats epilepsy. I haven’t had the pleasure to get them … Continue reading
Difference of Poets and Authors
Bleeding is mesmerizing, it fills me with a calm in the blood’s stead. I am in panic over school, nauseous over everything. I just want to disappear, and walking amongst people, on sidewalks, is harder than I thought it would … Continue reading
Once Upon a Suicidal Thought
Killing myself seems so easy, so close to home. It has been so far away before, and now it’s almost palpable, I can touch it with my fingers and it doesn’t shy away. It stays, curious of me, wanting to … Continue reading
Morbid Ways of an Author
I will receive no re-evaluation, because “it will not determine any diagnoses”, “will not help as much as medication will”, and “enlarging the dosage will not enhance any symptoms”. It really doesn’t help, it doesn’t. It has only made me … Continue reading
Ugly Exterior with Ghastly Truths Inside
I am having some kind of neurotic breakdown. At least I haven’t been cutting as much these past days, but it’s become deeper now, just like before I got help. I am meeting with my psychologist tomorrow, and I am … Continue reading
The Worst of the Relapses
It’s getting worse, and I have no idea what to do to stop it. It’s still very shallow, but they are numerous. I have four different places where I put them; my thigh, my hip, my shoulder and my arm. … Continue reading
Lies and Imagination
So I am not actually over my crush, I just tried to get over her, and almost succeeded. She asked me in class who my crush was, and I couldn’t lie to her, so I told her (but didn’t fail … Continue reading
The Zone Systems 
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