Author Archives: thezonesystems

About thezonesystems

Former miserable, confused teenager - now sad and confused trans adult(ish)

Comeback

cw: careless meds handling, vague references of bad therapy etiquette, coming out, cw&tw in the end that are all mentioning extremely triggering things I realise it’s been almost two years. I’m back, and I might use this blog for more … Continue reading

Posted in Personal | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Obscenities and Anger

I don’t understand. I know I’m slow with updates, but thankfully I’m not as desperate for venting as before. The thing is that none of the festivals I mentioned in my last entry were attended. One of them was cancelled, … Continue reading

Aside | Posted on | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Of Things Sure

So it has been a month since I last made an entry here. Well, dear friend, I don’t have much to say, since not much has happened. Usually, when I say things like that, things end up long and drawn … Continue reading

Posted in Personal | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Not This Time

I am alive. I have not tried to kill myself. My sick leave has been extended, my medication and dosage has been altered. Again. I am on medication that usually treats epilepsy. I haven’t had the pleasure to get them … Continue reading

Posted in Personal | Tagged , , , | 5 Comments

Difference of Poets and Authors

Bleeding is mesmerizing, it fills me with a calm in the blood’s stead. I am in panic over school, nauseous over everything. I just want to disappear, and walking amongst people, on sidewalks, is harder than I thought it would … Continue reading

Posted in Personal | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Once Upon a Suicidal Thought

Killing myself seems so easy, so close to home. It has been so far away before, and now it’s almost palpable, I can touch it with my fingers and it doesn’t shy away. It stays, curious of me, wanting to … Continue reading

Posted in Personal | Tagged , , , , , | 8 Comments

Morbid Ways of an Author

I will receive no re-evaluation, because “it will not determine any diagnoses”, “will not help as much as medication will”, and “enlarging the dosage will not enhance any symptoms”. It really doesn’t help, it doesn’t. It has only made me … Continue reading

Posted in Personal | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment